We will never know, this side of Heaven, how our life has affected, for good or bad, the people we have known on earth. God, in His loving wisdom, keeps that from us lest we get trapped in the terrible sin of false pride. But, every once in a while, to encourage us, He sends someone to speak a word of gratitude for some way they are thankful for our presence in their lives. I call these special messages "dewdrops from Heaven".Yesterday I read to my husband the following cherished words from a precious lady who has become a trusted friend:
I know it makes you sad not to be in group and meet new girls. But, I want you to know something. When the group starts up again and I get to go, this is one thing I have to share. A very special lady who never even met me changed my life. She listened when I was broken hearted; she sent me scriptures when I was in need of the Lord; she understood my feelings of guilt and shame; she taught me to trust again, and she loved me without asking anything in return. She gave me hope and believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. So, you see, Sweet Friend, though you may not be there physically, you will be there with me and all the women who hear of our sweet friendship and your caring,
When I finished reading, there were tears in my eyes. My husband smiled and said, "You have a lot of girls, don't you?" It overwhelmed me and I began to weep tears of gratitude. For, he was right. I have many cherished friends, several "daughters", and a special "granddaughter" who honors me by calling me "Mamaw". She says I remind her of her beloved Mamaw whom she misses since she passed away. As I thought about these special "girls" who have so touched my life as they taught me, cried with me, trusted and shared their hearts with me, listened as I shared with them, and allowed me to experience with them the power of Jesus setting us free, I could not help but lift my heart and voice in praise and gratitude. How very blessed this side of Heaven I am! So, perhaps a more appropiate title for this post would have been "Showers Of Blessings" --one of the songs I belted out the words to before I knew I was holding the songbook upside down. But, gratitude was tinged by a shadow of sadness that I have not been able to completely shake. I shared this with my friend and she replied with the words above.
There is s song that we sang often, when I was still able to attend church, entitled "Lay Me Down". The message of this song is that we offer our lives to Jesus while trusting His will when He chooses to set us aside. I meant those words when I sang them. So why am I struggling so? Did I think that because He had blessed me with His passion for hurting women that I was in some way special, or that I was indispensable to the Kingdom of God? I suspect there was a bit of ungodly pride that I was guilty of--in fact I know there was, though I can see it much clearer in hindsight. When God chooses us for a certain mission, He can use us in our weaknesses. But He will not allow us to accept the glory that is His alone. I would like to think that I have been set aside just long enough to grasp this lesson and that I can continue the precious "work" to which He called me, but I want to be willing to be set aside if that is my Savior's will. And I pray that doesn't sound as if I want to be a martyr. I'm not that brave!
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It occurs to me that I have not told you about another group of people who are the pride of their parents--the five daughters, nineteen living (I think) grandchildren (two who proceeded us to Heaven), and six living great-grandchildren (with another awaiting us in the arms of Jesus). I say we share them because Dick and I each had children when we married in 1976. We are a blended family, and our girls are a part of another blended family whom they love. One of them once wrote an essay in High School describing the benefits of being a part of a family with so much variety. Another wrote and read an essay for her 4H group describing why she so loved her stepfather. We are Nana and Papaw to each of the grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Our family has given us much joy through the years. Has the sailing all been smooth? Of course not. Strength comes from facing our shortcomings and differences, accepting one another, helping each other through times of grief, sickness, disagreements, betrayal's, sticking together through the bad times, and laughing together through the good ones. I like the quote that was on face book today and feel it can speak of families as well as couples: "Falling in love is easy; staying in love is special." I would add, "and well worth the effort."
One day I was preparing our Thanksgiving meal and decided I wanted to write something that would express my heart to everyone. After Dick had given thanks, I asked them if they would give me just a few minutes to read something. Overlooking the understandable groans of the children, I shared what I had scribbled. When I finished, each of our daughters said they wanted a copy. I am going to be egoistical enough to "share" it below.
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Our Family
We came together in '76,
This wonderful family of ours.
God gathered the two of us from lives adrift
and tied a knot with His power.
"But, not too tightly,''
He gently spoke.
"We'll save room in your hearts
for those yet to come."
So, it loosens more for each new one.
Two couldn't stay, they went on Home
where they play today around God's throne.
But, fourteen others came to stay,
becoming each a precious delight.
You girls we share are now all grown
into women. wives, and moms so bold;
We've watched with ever-wrinkling brow
as you've surpassed your every goal.
Like the two of us, it's taken a while
for you to trust God's love and smile.
But in His Word there's a promise true
that He will save us and our households too.
So, we've loosened the strings you thought were so tight,
knowing in the end, He'll make all things right.
Always know you're each one loved
by your earthly families and God above.
For, though we share not all the same genes,
all the same goals or all the same dreams,
the same knot that tied us two together,
has stretched to include you each
today and forever.
From Daddy/Dick and Betty/Mom
Papaw and Nana, too--
Happy Thanksgiving to our family
in this year 2002!
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